The Days Facebook Went Red

I used to have two facebook accounts, one for church and one for me.  It was a way for me to maintain boundaries.  I was not being dishonest or not real, I was myself in both and had many friends who were on both.  It’s just there’s something you talk about in church, and some things you talk about with your friends.

Recently I decided it was too much time and work to go on both and I was missing relationships with everyone so I switched as many people as would come over to just one.  And I learned to make lists for who would see what posts.  I have my crazy liberal list.  And my parish list.  And my no politics list.  I am kind of outspoken and like to talk about things but I don’t want to alienate people in the parish who don’t share my views.  I have facebook friends I have pretty much hidden because their political posts annoy me and I did not want to be *that* person to others.

Then came the day everyone was changing their profile picture to a red equal sign in support of marriage equality as the Supreme Court took up the California Prop 8 and DOMA .  And I had to make a decision. 

When you change your profile picture everyone sees it.  And I knew not everyone in my parish would not appreciate it.  But this is the thing.  When my former parish was all up in arms about the ELCA Churchwide decision to allow those in same sex relationships to rostered leadership I took what I thought was a measured and “neutral” position.  I did put forth the argument for full inclusion and acceptance of LGBT people but did not necessarily advocate for it.  I talked mostly about the importance of our unity being in Christ, not our position on this issue.  And I still suffered and lost my job.  Neutrality didn’t help anyone.   I might as well have been more outspoken for all the good being neutral did me.

I have a lot of unchurched friends on facebook, many of whom have had bad experiences with the church when it comes to being judgmental.  And I decided that it was more important that they see a Lutheran Pastor advocate for  rights for all people, than worry about offending some church members who think their pastor must agree with them.    So I went red, along with most of my facebook newsfeed.

Funny the only pushback I got was from my young Wisconsin Synod great-great niece.  I still used my lists because I didn’t think it was necessary to be in your face about it.  I made my stand known. 

 

Did going red influence the Supreme Court?  No.  Is it enough to change your profile picture or posts memes to work for justice?  No, of course not.  But sometimes a red profile can mean a lot to people.  It did this week.  And I’m glad I went red for couple of days.

What does this Facebook Urban Legend and The Help have in Common?

I think I'm annoying my friends with my insistence on pointing out most of the amazing photos and inspiring true stories that get posted and reposted on facebook are not true.  The latest is this one:  With this photo

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.
If you are against racism, share this

Oh my God - if I don't' share it does it mean I'm not against racism? 

According to Snopes.com - this has been around a while, at least since 1998.  The villain started out as a South African.

Well so what if it didn't happen, what's wrong with sharing it?  I dunno..aren't' there any TRUE stories of people standing up against injustices and discrimination?   And what is wrong with this picture?  It's All WHITE people. 

It's the opposite of the story of the Good Samaritan where the hero is a marginalized outsider.  Here the hero is the white attendant who has the power and authority to resuce the poor oppressed black man by sending him on up to the first class, and all the WHITE people cheer.  And don't we white people feel good about ourselves after reading this.  Share this if you are against racism.  There I've posted it.  I've done my bit for the cause.  Good for me.

I have a lot of Black friends on Facebook.  None of them have posted that story.   Maybe because they have stories of REAL heroes to share.  Maybe we should listen to their stories instead of passing around fake stories of white heroes that make us feel good and let us forget that racism is a lot more complicated to deal with than finding a Black man a seat in First Class.

Disrespect for Young People

One summer at a family reunion I sat across from cousin in law and listened to her diss her teenaged son right in front of him.  He was lazy.  He never listened.  He  had no common sense.  Expected her to pick up after him.    As we drove home my kids and I talked about how unkind that was to talk about him like that in front of him.  And my daughter said "If he's like that, whose fault is that?"

The first time I saw these "rules" going around facebook (they first showed up without the chalkboard") I disagreed with rule #1.  I never have believed in telling children "Life is unfair.  Get used to it"  I'm not saying I never said it because we all get tired of hearing that whine "That's not FAIR!" from our kids.  But what I hope I taught my children was, "Yes life is unfair...do NOT get used to it.  Never get used to it.  Work to make the world more fair"

But as I see this being shared more and more around facebook it's not just the "life isn't fair"  It's the whole arrogant "Aren't  young people lazy and stupid and aren't we so much better than them?" attitude that bothers me so.  I leave comments disagreeing on every single one of them and nobody seems to appreciate it.  In fact one person called me intolerant.  

I mean seriously look at the world we have created.  Why should young people pay any attention to any "rules" we might impose on them?

Young people are different than we are.   Some of that difference is a good thing.  Some isn't.  Some kids are lazy and feel entitled.  Some kids have been overprotected by their parents.  Many many young people have been neglected and abandoned by the adults in their life.  If we despair that young people do not seem to act like "adults", why is that?  How much time to children actually spend with adults?  Very very little.  Why should they know how to be adults when we've paid so little attention to them?

I've been reading Hurt 2.0, Inside the World of Today's Teenagers  and it is an eye opener.   Young people have pretty much been abandoned and neglected by the adults in their lives.  I think that is why I have such visceral reaction when I see that STUPID picture going around.  I see so much selfishness and disregard for children going on among adults.  How dare we get all self-righteous and smug about what is wrong with young people?  How about we pull out that plank in our own eyes first? 

I am, at heart an optimist. I have faith in the new generation.  They will figure it out.  Just like we rebelled against some of the flaws of the generation before us, they will push the pendulum that has swung too far in this generation.  They will figure out what doesn't work and survive.  And they will push the world a little too far in a direction and will be annoyed when the generation that follows them pushes back.  And so it goes.  

But if you are my facebook friend and you post that picture, be prepared for a rant from me.

ELCA Pastors on Facebook

There's a group on Facebook for ELCA Clergy.  It's a lot of fun.  We discuss/argue about theology, give advice, share stories.  There are more than 3200 members in the group and its growing everyday.

There are some people in that group that drive me nuts.  Some about whom I think "YEE GADS - These are ELCA PASTORS???"

And then it occurs to me.  There are people thinking the same thing about me.  

Heh.  Don't ya love it?

If you are still struggling with your sermon on the Trinity

A Trinity-Shaped Life Faith Forward

Trinity Sunday year C: Thoughts and exegesis - A Garden Path

I got these from the Facebook text study group The Text This Week.  Some good stuff...but oh Lord some of the suggestions.  One person comments that we shouldn't be tied to 4th century theological explanations.  Okay but really when I read suggestions like 3 way light bulbs and M&Ms (they are different colors but put them in your mouth and they all taste like chocolate!)  I'm sorry I have to go back to Augustine's  God is the Lover, Jesus is the Beloved and the Holy Spirit is the Love - I just know if I get us into that  perichoresias  - I will have my sermon.  And hopefully Father over at Madeline's Egg won't shoot himself.

Playing Sorority Life - A Little Too Much Like Real Life

So I discovered this very addictive game on Facebook called Sorority Life. It started with just dressing up this virtual paper doll. I like dress-up. Then you organize little virtual events that gave you virtual money and virtual "glam" and you get points and move up a level. Then I discovered you could virtually "attack" other houses and steal their money. And there was strategy with figuring which glam to buy that had points for attacking and points for defense. And that was fun and challenging. But you needed more "sisters" for that - which meant more facebook friends. So I got more sisters. And pretty soon my virtual crops on facebook farmland were dying because all I wanted play on facebook was Sorority Life.

Ah but there was ANOTHER feature of the game. You could virtually "slap" someone. But a number of people playing this game had decided that it was socially unacceptable to push the slap the button. Whole houses had "no slapping" rules and would kick anybody out of their virtual "house" if they were caught slapping. These people take this seriously enough that they keep screen shots of virtual slaps.

But then it wasn't enough not to slap. You couldn't house or be friends with anyone who slapped. You couldn't belong to a house that was neutral about slapping. And there were witch hunts and if you were found to be the sister of a sister who was sisters with a "slapper" you were booted from houses. It was crazy.

And my rebellious streak set in and I started housing slappers. And got kicked out of houses for it. Then I started watching all the fun my slapper sisters were having so one day I did it. I pushed the slapper button. And watched grown women (there are actually a lot of men play too but I don't think they are as suseptable to the anti-slapper mania as women) go absolutely nutso on me, writing foul and disgusting insults on my board, as well as lame "Yea well you are an ugly old lady"

I won't lie. I got some satisfaction out of being able to do what you can't do in real life. Slap idiots and self-righteous uptight old biddies.

Well it was bound to happen. I wasn't as careful with my privacy settings on facebook as I should have been. And one day I got outed as I read on my board "Is this the way a PASTOR should behave---slapping people?" Which is pretty hysterical as no one seemed to have a problem with the main part of the game which is STEALING MONEY.

At first I was bummed that I couldn't be anonymous in the game anymore. But I didn't participate in the foul mouthed insults - I thought I kept my smack talk clean (except for the character I created just to slap people called "SMACKuratsass") and rather on the witty side and I never got personal like these people did. I mean who goes and looks people up and post personal information about you over a GAME? Apparently a lot of people. Lot of nuts on the internet. I've been online long enough to know that.

And then I started thinking. People decide slapping is wrong because they don't do it. And so everybody else has to do things their way and not only can slappers not be in your house - nobody else can have slappers in their house. Hmmm. Not only are WE not going to have a gay pastor. No other congregation in the ELCA can have a gay pastor.

Anti slappers would gang up on and drive to drive slappers out of the game. CORE trying to get its members to gang up on pastors who don't agree with them and drive them out of the church.

Anti-slappers acting all morally superior because they don't slap yet they engage in vile and rude and insulting behavior (and sometimes do actually slap). People who focus in on homosexuality as the only sin in the world and yet engage in vile and hurtful behavior (some of whom are in the closet themselves)

OMG SORORITY LIFE IS JUST LIKE THE CHURCH I WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE!

And yet, just as in the church there are good people who "get" it. I met some really cool sisters who slapped or didn't mind befriending slappers and that made it all worthwhile.

Purity. Trying to draw that line between them and us. This side is God's good clean side and I'm on it and THEY are not. And yet what did Jesus do? Constantly crossed over boundaries. Constantly held up the "other", the unclean, the sinner, the outcast, as the one who will be in the Kingdom of heaven before all these morally superior smug anti-slappers.

One crazy person who found out I was a pastor posted all over my board "WWJD" You know what I think Jesus would do? He'd call all those self-righteous biddies a brood of vipers and go have a party with the slappers.

Pretty Outrageous invasion of privacy

So if you want a job with City of Bozeman, Montana, are expected to provide information about any social networking sites you are a part of, complete with passwords. See above link.

I understand that there is no privacy on Facebook. From the very beginning I joined facebook to keep in touch with my youth. Then it was mostly my friends and I started joining all these "liberal" pro-gay rights, Bush is the anti-Christ groups. Then as congregation members began to sign up for Facebook I was a little worried because in real life I'm pretty circumspect and try to be even handed when we discuss controversial topics in adult Sunday school and I was a little concerned about my "Yes I am a Tree Hugging Hippy" and "Silly Christian, Jesus was a liberal" flair. I decided I should be on Facebook as one should be in life - open about my beliefs but not rude So I did leave the "Bush is a big fat Jerk" group. But I still am a member of Dick Cheney Needs to Shut the Hell Up.

So I'm okay with an employer not wanting to have someone with pictures of them drunk and puking on Facebook. If you get drunk and puke and post pictures of it online...you deal with the consequences.

But to ask people to fork over passwords is just outrageous. I have personal messages from family members. That's like asking for your password for an email account. I can't even imagine how they can ask for that. Yes I can. People are desperate for jobs.

I suspect that whoever thought of this requirement doesn't even understand how Facebook works and doesn't realize you can get access to those drunken puking pictures without a password.

The Passion of our Lord According to Facebook

At first I thought "oh no, not another one"...but this is pretty funny Jesus' Facebook

I Love Facebook

This is a great article at Time Magazine:

Why Facebook is for Old Foagies

Back in May I opened a facebook account to start a facebook group for my church youth. I was having a really hard time getting in touch with them. They were never home to answer the phone. They didn't seem to read their email - at least not from me. And forget about snail mail! But I knew from my daughter that they checked their Facebook several times a day!

I still remember asking my daughter how to start a group on facebook --she was a senior in high school and she was dumbfounded..."YOU, MOTHER...have a facebook??" Then she said no one would be my friend and she refused to be my friend. But all of her friends thought it was cool that I was on facebook and they all became my friends. So she reluctantly added me. Now that she's in college it is a great way to keep in touch.

It worked great for the youth group and for me knowing what was going on in their lives - because you know - they update their status' constantly.

But it wasn't long that I was finding old college and seminary friends, people I'd lost touch with..made new friends with people I had similar interests. I think those old foagies who complain it hurts social action are just wrong. It enhances social interaction.

Facebook. It's not just for kids!