Some Unsolicited Advice for Republican Congress Reps Facing Hostile Crowds

I sent this email to Joni Ernst but it's good advice for all Republican Congress people facing hostile crowds:

Dear Senator Ernst

I understand you have had some frustrating experiences at your meetings with the public. I am sure it is unpleasant and a little disconcerting to meet with unruly crowds who are shouting things at you.

I wish people at these meetings would settle down and speak to you calmly. 

I read an article where you said they were not interested in listening to you.

(Ernst: Protesters 'not really there to listen')

That's true, people don't come to these meetings to listen to you.  

You have many opportunities to get your message out to the public and have them listen to you. 

These meetings are for YOU to listen to them.

I am a pastor and I have run into hostile angry people. In many ways, my position is similar to yours in that those of us that represent the church take the hostility that people have for the whole church, especially when the church as hurt them. 

In many ways, you are taking the brunt of the anger people have toward all of what they see the government doing to them since President Trump has been elected.

This is what I have found in 30 years of serving the church to be helpful. It may seem counter-intuitive, but avoiding people only makes it worse. 

If you can just keep showing up, let them shout and when you can get a word in don't tell them to listen, Say "I want to listen but I can't when you all talk at once" (Yes just like grade school) I think eventually they will calm down and tell you what they want you to know. 

But you have to listen.

I notice your colleague Senator Grassley has had better experiences at his meetings. People are still angry. They are going to be angry. Because they don't like what you are doing. But they are calmer because he listens.

Also, nobody is paying these people. 

These are not outside agitators. People in Iowa like the ACA. People in Iowa are happy with Planned Parenthood providing health care for women. People in Iowa think our public schools are pretty good. And they are.

I think if Republicans continue to tell themselves these people are not serious, you are going to be in for a surprise at midterms.

Also, I have to say I always enjoy speaking to your assistants when I call. Which is often. Because I don't like what's going on either. But as a fellow woman in the public, I thought I'd share this advice. For what it's worth.

#AdventUs REFUGEE

Caravaggio (1571-1610), (detail) Rest on the Flight into Egypt 

REFUGEE

Mary is so tired.  

So much traveling.  So much upheaval.
  

Mary is every mother who has had to gather her children and leave her home.

Less than a year ago she was still a girl.   Faithful, yes but I also think it was her innocence that allowed her to accept the words of the angel so easily.  “Of course I’ll have the Son of God.  Why not?”

Mary is every weary mother who left her girlhood behind sooner than she would have liked.

Mary has grown up a lot in the past months.  Faced the possibility being divorced, shamed and forced to raise a child alone.  Traveled away from home while heavy with child. 

Giving birth without her mother and aunts in a cave with only her husband.  In a time when men had nothing to do with childbirth.

Mary is every woman who has given birth in dangerous circumstances with little support.

Mary is every woman who has had to rise too soon from her childbirth bed, still bleeding and sore, still so very tired. 

Mary is every woman who has had to grab her children, put them in boats on dangerous waters and carry her child on foot so many miles.  

Mary is everyone woman who has heard of the carnage and death that took place after she left.

Mary is so very tired.

#AdventUS ~ BREACH

BREACH

A breach of contract happens when one party doesn’t keep their part of the deal.  By law, Judah owed his daughter-in-law a husband and a son.  His failure to find her a husband was a breach.

Her solution (seducing him and conceiving his son) was another kind of breach.  Tamar's act is a breach in  patriarchy that silences women.  

Scripture is full of those breaches.

It’s true that much of the Old Testament is disturbing stories of violence and oppression against women and other marginalized people.  The Old Testament reflects the world in which it was written.

But what I find amazing are the cracks, the breaches in that world that many of the stories reveal.  

The story of Tamar outwitting her father-in-law is a breach.  Rahab the prostitute that saves herself and her family is a breach.  

Ruth, the story of two women who find a way to survive in a man’s world is a breach.  

The inclusion of these women in the genealogy of Jesus is a sign that the kingdom of God that Jesus brings is going to rip that breach even further.

#AdventUS ~ Whore

WHORE

Today’s word is not your usual devotional word.  

It’s an ugly word. 

 It’s an ugly word that is often applied to women that men cannot control.  

Tamar was a whore because she took control of her situation and used what she had (her sexuality) to get what was due her.  

Throughout history powerful women have been given this name as a way to dismiss them.  

By adding Tamar and other whores to Jesus’ genealogy, Matthew turns that around. 

#AdventUs~ Widow

After my husband died I found the word widow to be a harsh and cruel word.  

Widowhood is a harsh and cruel experience. 

It was easier for me than many.  I had a job.  I knew how to take care of myself and my children.

The biblical mandate to take care of widows comes from a worldview where women need men to take care of them.  It’s like saying “Ok guys, you want to take care of everything, then TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.  Including the women and orphans.“

The biblical mandate to take care of widows and orphans is a mandate to take care of those who have no voice.  

I think today it means more than taking care of them and being their voice.  It means giving them voice, hearing their voice and empowering them to take care of themselves.  

#AdventUs ~ Birth

Sometimes we wax poetic and sentimental about the “miracle of birth”.   Miracle yes. 

Birth  is also bloody, messy, painful and dangerous.  

Birth usually ends in tears.  Hopefully tears of joy, but too often tears of mourning. 

Not every woman or infant survives birth.  

Every day, approximately 830 women die from preventable causes related to pregnancy and childbirth.  Just under six out of every 1,000 babies died at birth or in the first year of life in the U.S. in 2013, triple the rate of Japan or Norway and double the rate of Ireland, Israel or Italy.

Birth is inherently dangerous...

but most deaths of women and infants in childbirth in the world can be prevented.  

Instant of sentimental words about the babies and birth, we could work and give toward preventing those deaths.  So that more births would end in tears of joy.

The Gosnell Case - A Combination of Poverty and Restriction of Abortion

I've always wished we could have an honest and sane discussion on abortion.  

It is my belief that a compassionate and just society makes it possible for women to both bear and raise the children they conceive.  

This idea that women are just casually getting abortions is simply not true.  

Many many years ago I read "In a Different Voice" by Carol Gilligan that is about how the way women make moral decisions is different than men.  The book was not about abortion, though she used women making decisions about abortion as an example of how women make decisions.  

But what struck me was how many women ended up getting abortions to keep men in their lives, who were needed to support the children they already had.  

People think feminism is responsible for abortion but it seems to me if women were more independent, they'd be able to have and raise their children.

So you can't get rigid "pro-life" (really who is anti-life?) people to discuss abortion in a sane way and you can't really get feminists to discuss it either because they are so desperately trying to keep it safe, legal and  available.  Which I understand.  

 I wish pro-life people would understand that trying to forbid abortion does not solve anything, it only makes things worse.  And I wish pro-choice people could talk about the fact that we are discussing life and there is a violence and a loss for women who must make this choice.  

It's like there are only two ways of looking at abortion, abortion is the equivalent of Hitler killing Jews, or it's just removal of unwanted tissue.  Both these view points is harmful to women and harmful to society.

I won't post any links to the Gosnell case.  If you haven't heard about it you can Google it.  He was a butcher who took advantage of poor women.  Period.  And now he's the poster boy for the argument that there is a pro-abortion, left wing media conspiracy because the press didn't pay much attention.  The truth is nobody ever pays attention to poor women. 

People don't like the idea of late term abortions, but these are the result of lack of money and access to health care to detect pregnancy and to earlier abortions.  

Then women get desperate and they go to butchers like Gosnell.  

This is what happened before abortion was legal and it's going to happen more as more states make end runs around the constitution to block access to safe legal abortions.  And unfortunately the way the "left wing" media has played into anti-abortion's narrative of this case, this is just going to make it worse.

Now about that Women & Gay Marriage Thing

I really owe Pope Francis a debt of gratitude for getting me back into the blogging habit.

So after giving him a pass on the whole military dictatorship thing... What about the fact that he believes what his church teaches?  Namely, that women do not belong in the priesthood and gays should not be be allowed to marry each other or adopt children.

Well on the one hand, DUH.  At this point in history, with *that* conclave of electorate, nobody pushing for radical change was going to become pope.  It hardly seems fair to blame the Pope for well, being Catholic.

On the other hand, I have no sympathy for those whining about the media constantly bringing up those issues.  Would it be nice if the press were a little more informed and educated about the Roman Catholic Church and Christianity in general.  Well yea.  But this is the thing--  The Roman Catholic Church wants to be a player in the secular world.  The Vatican is a "country" after all.  The Pope is a world leader.   You wanna play in the big playground but play by your own rules you are going to get some pushback for that.  So, no the Roman Catholic Church, nor Pope Francis, now it's Head and spokesman don't get a pass on that.   As the rest of the world (and even most of their own members) sees nothing wrong with birth control and are willing to concede some instances where abortion is moral option, want to see women leaders in the church, favor gay rights and even marriage, these questions and critiques of the church are not going to go away.  And nor should they.

Lean in, but Don't be Surprised if it's Women Who Try to Smack You Back Down Again

So  a successful woman writes a book advising women they might take some responsibility for their own success.  And all hell breaks loose in a storm of controversy, and "HOW DARE SHE!" outrage.  And where is all this outrage coming from?  Pretty much women. 

HOW DARE SHE suggest women can be responsible for their own success?  Which is really saying "How dare SHE take responsibility for her own success?"  She's just LUCKY.    And the rest of us are still victims who if we aren't lucky can't do anything.  What a pack of bullshit coming mostly from other SUCCESSFUL women.   Really I am ashamed for my sex.

"Lean in"  I love that phrase.  Lean into your opportunities.  Women do tend to hold back.  Sometimes it is for reasons of family and I think that's a good thing.  I think men should do that more.  But more often I think women hold back for lack of confidence, fear of claiming authority and most of all fear of not being "liked". 

Nobody, not even Sandberg said there is not still sexism and barriers for women.  But when those barriers are not there or soft and fluid, she is encouraging women to "lean in" and push back.  YAY!  I say.

There is another strand of criticism.  She's just a privileged white woman talking to other white women.  Yea and so are some of the women criticizing her.  Successful  white privileged writer Susan Fauldi wrote an article complaining that  Sandberg left single mothers behind.

Where was all the criticism of Steve Jobs when he wrote motivational books that he didn't address ALL of the problems addressing women in the world?  Oh, I see.  The requirement that every book you write must address all the issues of oppressed women only applies to....women. 

Seriously this not what women should be doing.  We should not be attacking women for not addressing our particular issue.  Women are allowed to be successful.  In fact I think this attack on Sandberg for daring to suggest women can claim their own power is an example of that resistance to "leaning in"  that she writes about.  

Seriously ladies, if she didn't write about what you want ... LEAN IN AND WRITE YOUR OWN DAMNED BOOK!

Could we stop talking about Women in terms of their Body Parts?

And no, I'm not talking about those crazy people on the right who think rape victims can "shut down" conception. 

I'm talking about the Left.  Yes I understand that it feels like Republicans are obsessed with women's reproductive parts.  But now  it seems like my Facebook feed is full of words like "Vagina" and "Uterus" and pictures of said body parts.  I guess somebody thought that it was clever to use the word Vagina and Republican in the same sentence - especially when it apparently gave Michigan House of Representatives the vapors when Lisa Brown used the word.

Now I feel like people are doing exactly what feminists have tried to undo and fought against for years--equating women with their body parts.  It's not just about our vaginas and our uteri - that's the point.  We are more than that.  And I think all this body part language is taking away from that.  And it makes us look like a bunch of middle school boys.

No We Can't Put it all Behind Us

Now that Jerry Sandusky has been found guilty on 45 of 48 counts of child sexual abuse, the calls (mostly from Penn State folk) are already coming in for "Okay let's put it all behind us and move on."   Let's forget all about it.   Let's focus our attention all on one person, call him a monster, and get on with what is really important-- college football of course.  Let's not examine ourselves as to how  we let  a football program became so important that people were willing to completely ignore what was really more obvious than people want to admit.  Let's not observe that while horrible and disgusting, we can understand why a pedophile (and possible sociopath as he seems to have no concept that he's done anything wrong) can do the horrible things he did, we seem to be less willing to examine why so called normal people became enablers of abusive behavior.  

No let's just move forward.  I'm always preaching about moving forward and getting our eyes off the past.  But in some cases moving forward just means ignoring what has happened in the past and not doing anything to make certain the future is any different. 

A hearing for former high-ranking Penn State administrators Tim Curley and Gary Schultz, facing perjury charges related to the case will come up in July. I wonder how much coverage that will get, or will we decide it's time to move on?  

The ugly truth is that there will always be child molesters.  So far there's been little to no success in changing them.  What we need is more protection for children, less access for molesters to children, fewer normal people willing to protect and enable them.  Even if it means putting football programs in jeopardy.   Even if it means giving up your privileged life as the wife of one.

Yes I'm going there.  I'm calling Dottie Sandusky to account.  I don't believe she had no clue.  I do not believe she is a victim.  She was prepared to testify against her own adopted child.   One of the responsibilities that comes with being in a country that granted, has some work yet to do with women's rights, but at least criminalizes men throwing acid on your face if they don't like how cook dinner is that white privileged women who have resources do not get a pass when it comes to offering up their and other women's children in order to keep their privileged position.  Those damaged children's lives are on her as well.  I'm not saying it would be easy for her to face the truth and do what she needed to do to protect those children.  Too effin bad.  Sometimes the price of getting to be a grown up independent equal citizen is that you are responsible for doing hard things.

So while I  see it is a very good thing that eight victims of a powerful influential man were believed, we still got some work to do.  And if that's what people mean by "moving forward", yes let's move forward.

These Two Photos Have More in Common than You May Think

so it's funny how things seem to come to your attention in different circumstances.  I hadn't thought about Reconstruction and it's end since I don't know when they showed Roots on TV?  Or maybe when I read "The Warmth of Other Suns a couple of years ago.   But a few days ago I was listening to my Great Courses Lectures on Turning Points in History on that very subject.  How the experiment of Northern radicals and Black freedman to share power in the South didn't last too long and was soon brutally repressed, forcing blacks back into slavery for intents and purposes through peonage and convict labor.  

Then the next day on NPR there was a constitutional professor talking about how the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments were able to be ignored for more than 50 years because the court chose to narrowly enforce simply the wording of those amendments, not the intent.

And then on PBS last night "Slavery by Another Name" on the very same subject.

And I thought about how there is still slavery with sex trafficking.  It struck me when the point was made about how convict labor was almost worse than slavery because at least slave owners had economic incentive to keep their slaves alive and in some kind of fair condition, whereas there was no such incentive for convict labor.  The same is true for young girls in the sex industry.  They sell for much less than the price of a slave in the antebellum south.  They die at about the same rate that convicts died.   You never want to compare suffering.  But here's your choice....days or weeks or months forced to work in a mine, in knee high standing dirty water, never seeing the light of day, and enduring beatings and mental abuse or....days or weeks or months tied to a bed, forced to have sex with up to a dozen men a day, never seeing the light of day and enduring beatings, torture and mental abuse?  Does one sound better than another?

In the south, if you were black and ran away from your sharecropping landlord, the law would arrest you and bring you back to work.  If you are a 14-year-old sex slave,  you will be arrested and put in jail.  Until your pimp bails you out.  Or maybe you'll be sent back to your home, which you probably were lured into the sex trade because you ran away from the sex abuse you were enduring at home, to begin with.  Different circumstances but the hopelessness of your circumstances is the same.

I hesitate to say this, because it may sound as though I'm trying to justify what happened to Blacks in the south or make it okay, because I'm  not, but there was something to show for their labor.  Roads, public buildings, railroad tracks,  the entire economic progress and development of the south was dependent upon their labor.  And at some point later, to some extent, many are now able to benefit from some of that development and progress.   What is there to show for men having sex with minors?  

Or maybe it's just a difference in our economies.  When we were an industrial society, slaves were exploited for that purpose.  Now our economy is based on services.  I guess sex with underage boys and girls is a service.  

The PBS program pointed out how the Federal Government was not much help despite a few attempts at reform when it came to the exploitation of blacks.  Part of this was due to racism and apathy.  But I think it was also the sense of being overwhelmed at how to take on something that the entire southern economy was based on.   I think we're just as overwhelmed at trying to take on the problem of sex trafficking.  I think a big part of the tourism economy is dependent upon it. 

I don't know what to do about all this.  I just know we watch can't shows about slavery on PBS and feel good about how much more enlightened and kinder we are.

Don't Think They Can't Take it All Back

Look at how women are treated  in many parts of the world.  Oh that's only "backward" cultures you say?  Look at what's going on in Israel.  Religious extremists in Israel are gaining more and more success in pushing women out of the public arena in the name of  *their* religious rights. 

Read this: Republicans Retreat on Domestic Violence  

Read some of John Piper and Mark Driscoll  go on about how poor men have been marginalized by the "feminization" of the church and culture.

And then read about the history of the end of Reconstruction after the civil war and how a combination of  Southern propaganda and Northern apathy made it possible for the United States to virtually ignore the 14th and 15th amendments for more than 50 years.

And all you young women enjoying the results of the hard work and sacrifices of the women before you so now you can bat your eyelashes and say "oh I'm not a feminist" don't think for a moment it can't all be taken away from us again if we aren't vigilant.  

It can.

Seriously? Religious Liberty means Thowing over Women's Reproductive Health and Freedom?

This is one of those issues that's really pissing me off. So much so I'm imposing the "You don't get to use my blog as a forum for your opinion".  That's right.   I don't want any comments about how this is about the constitution or religious freedom. You can spout that drivel somewhere else. Not here. And forget about trying to tell me how bad birth control is and how it's led to the objectification of women. If I could I'd make software that would smack you if you try to write that on my blog.

So this is the deal. The Roman Catholic church wants to run businesses, engage and yes profit in the world, but it wants to have special rules for itself, in that it doesn't want to have to include contraception coverage in their insurance for it's employees, like everyone else does.   And this is supposed to be about "religious liberty" and for that reason all us non-Catholics who care about religious liberty are supposed to say "SORRY WOMEN YOU LOSE AGAIN" and take up their cause. I call bullshit and say screw that.

I have no problem with making an exception for the church itself. I think if the Catholic Church doesn't want to provide condoms for their priests, then they should not have to. But if they want to venture out of the church and run a business in the world, then you play by the world's rules and you get your hands dirty. You can't have it both ways. And I say that for all churches who want to run businesses.

To me that is the bigger theological question. Not religious freedom. (and where in scripture are we told to force the State to give us rights?). It's about engaging in the world and how it can mean getting your hands dirty. And you can't engage in the world, profit from it or even help it and say "well I want to do this but I want you to make certain exceptions for me so I can be in business with you but can still claim that I'm better than you because I don't do these terrible things you do" .  Like provide reproductive healthcare for women.

But the fact that women are AGAIN the collateral damage from this is really what makes my head explode.

What am I Missing Here?

I don't like Suze Orman.  Mostly because she is from the Dr. Phil "I won't help you until I've totally humiliated you and made sure you realize what a stupid piece of sh*t  you are" school of "self help" (which isn't self help at all) television.   I also don't like that she's always calling her viewers "Girlfriend"   Girlfriend, I am not your girlfriend.  I don't like her because she perpetuates the stereotype that all women are idiots when it comes to money and if it wasn't for her we would all be in the poorhouse.

Now I don't like her because I think maybe she's proving that we are all idiots.  She's hawking  her own pre-paid credit card that is the greatest card ever, if she does say so herself.   Its so wonderful because she's made a deal with one of the credit reporting agencies to report your usage of this card and maybe someday it will improve your credit score.

Um. No.  It won't.  Because a pre-paid credit card is not credit.  You can't miss a payment.   You can't screw it up.  So you can't prove that you can handle credit because it's um, NOT CREDIT!

Am I the only one that sees this?  I've heard this woman interviewed by half a dozen people on this and NOBODY has asked her about this little detail.  What am I missing?

Mother's Day Prayer - Repost

A lot of people found this prayer helpful last year - I offer it again to use as you wish.


Mother's Day Prayer

The Super Bowl's Dirty Little Secret

My delight in fact that the Packers will be playing at the Superbowl has been dampened by learning this fact - Every year children as young as 11 are trafficked involuntarily to provide sex to the fans who come to the Superbowl.  I read in an article about a man arrested for trafficking in last year's Superbowl that the average age of the these sex slaves (come on let's call them what they are) is 13 and they have an average life span of 20.

Why did I not know this?  Of all the things people in this country like to get outraged about, why are we not united, liberal and conservative in outrage over this???  Though I do have to say, the Evangelicals seem to have more of a handle on this than the Mainlines.   I have to wonder, is our fear of being sullied by being associated with Evangelicals keeping mainlines away from this issue?  

It's not just the sex-slave trade or the Superbowl - its human slavery IN THIS COUNTRY.  Why?  This should not be.  We fought a war over this people!  Brother fought against brother over this.  This was decided more than a hundred years ago. WE WILL NOT HAVE SLAVERY IN THIS COUNTRY!

Surely this is a sin liberals and conservatives can unite in fighting? 

Texas Attorney General Abbott has prepared a task force to identify and respond to traffickers who plan to sell children at the Super Bowl.  The SuperBowl Host Committee is still pretending this is not an issue and refuses to take part in this effort.  It's probably too late by now but sign the petition to ask the Committee to support the effort.

Sign the Petition

 If we don't convince this year's committee - maybe next year's committee will get the message.   The first step is getting people aware of the problem.

Rita Nakashima Brock on "The Importance of Mary's Virginity"

There is an interesting piece in the Huffington Post on how Mary's virginity is more about resistence to the Roman Empire than Mary's "purity:"

Rita Nakashima Brock writes:

We might describe the story of Mary as a powerful rejection of patriarchal family systems and imperial powers that oppress everyone subject to them. By blessing her and trusting her with the Spirit in human flesh, God challenges the rich, proud, and haughty, which means those who love her story and follow Jesus ought to be doing the same. 

The Importance of Mary's Virginity

I wish she had fleshed this out more and spent less time on a history lesson.  However, this is a blog post in the Huffington Post, not a religious journal.  

But the idea intrigues me as it goes along with my theory that at the heart of many of the stories and legends the virginity and chastity of the early women saints and martyrs are a protest against a culture that gives women no say over who has control over their bodies.  I said more about this when I wrote about Santa Lucia last year.

In another life I'd write a doctoral thesis on this subject.  Someday someone will or write a book and I will bemoan the fact that I thought of it first but then remind myself I did nothing about it and be glad someone else fleshed it out.  Hopefully.  Or maybe I will write that dissertation.  I'm not dead yet, as my late husband used to say when I nagged him about things he hadn't done.

It's a Wonderful Life (As Long as you are not an Old Maid)

 Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE "It's a Wonderful Life".  I watch it every year.  I know it by heart.  I just love the message of how every single person impacts their world.  As we get more and more into a culture that encourages people to just follow their dream, whatever the consequences, I like the message of learning to appreciate and love the life you are "stuck with" even if you never fulfill your dream of traveling the world.

But even when I was a kid, there was one scene that bugged me.  It's when, after discovering all the terrible things that happen in a world without George Bailey, Clarence has to break the news to George about the worst thing that happened to poor Mary.  And he can barely choke the words out..."She's....an OLD MAID" 

An OLD MAID? OH NO!  Worse than the town being ruined by Potter.  Worse than poor old Mr. Gower accidentally poisoning a child in his grief and going to prison.  Worse even than his own brother drowning because he wasn't there to save him.   Poor Mary has turned from a vibrant, happy, clever woman into a fearful, dried up old maid.  Who needs glasses now!

To be fair, perhaps it's just a way of making it clear to George, who always thought Mary could do better than him, that no, he was the one she loved and wanted.  But I see a more sinister message.

This is 1946.  Right after WW2  women dropped their children into daycare and went about the business of holding the country together without the menfolk just fine thank you very much.  Perhaps the women needed a not-so subtle message that they really did need the menfolk?

Or maybe I've just seen this movie too many times and am overthinking it.

Happy 90th Anniversary

"The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

The Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution,  was ratified on this date in 1920 by Tennesse, the last state to ratify the amendment and thus FINALLY giving women the right to vote,

Women were ridiculed, locked up in prison and insane asylums, lost custody of their children and were beat up fighting for this right,  privilege and responsibility.  We should not forget that.